Harry Potter and Grief's Wisdom 2

Harry Potter and Grief’s Wisdom

Poetheather

This is a work of fiction using the characters created by J.K. Rowling. They are not used with her permission. All actions follow the events of book five of the series. Any similarity between any person living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional.  If you happen to find your life reflected in this piece I’ll be impressed and perhaps a little scared.

Chap 2.

Harry was struggling to keep the pace he had set as his body was all but screaming at him to slow down. The stitch in his side made breathing difficult but he kept on, knowing that he had to push himself if he was going to get better. This sucked so much but it was better than being in the house. He kept struggling to push faster, as he was slowing without planning on it. When he could finally see number 4 he started walking, taking in huge gulps of air. One hand rubbed the tight spot on his side and he was soaked in sweat. Merlin, he hurt.

The air shimmered off to his side as a voice came out, “Wotcher Harry.”

He just nodded as there was still not enough air in him to respond with anything else. Moody would be upset with him for not reacting correctly.

“Any reason you are out here turning yourself into a wet smelly thing?” she asked curiously.

With a nod he kept his trudge towards number 4. He vaguely remembered something about it being bad if he didn’t stretch out a little after running. Given how he felt now, there was no way he wanted anything worse.

“Technically, we are supposed to keep you safe in your house, you know, just saying.”

Harry stopped at that. That just irritated him and turned to face where the sound was coming from, frowning. Were they serious?

“I’m just saying that’s the orders Harry. We have to keep you safe, especially since You-know-who is getting more active.”

“Bloody hell! No… just no.” Harry was a bit surprised at the anger but at that point was too wrung out to do anything about it. Besides the anger really did help make his point on this issue.

There was a pause and then, “What do you mean Harry?”

Harry was glad it was Tonks, if it had been anyone else he probably would have had to hex them or something in order to get him to listen. In fact, maybe the other day when he went to the Library it could have been her on guard or that waste of space Fletcher. He hadn’t heard any faint snoring so he wasn’t sure. “I will not be a prisoner even if it’s for my safety. That’s just insane. Dumbledore did that to Sirius and I know it was making him stir crazy. Is that why I haven’t heard anything from my friends because someone decided to keep me bloody safe?”

Tonks took a step back, surprised at Harry’s anger. He was a bit surprised by it as well, but his emotions had been all over the place since the Ministry. She cautiously answered, “I wouldn’t know about that Harry.”

“If you want to keep me safe then keep me safe, don’t keep me locked away and unable to contact my friends. And you can tell everyone else I said that so they won’t be surprised when I do my own thing. And keep my mail safe don’t lock me away from my mail. Merlin, whose bloody plan was this, Dumbledore?” Harry really was getting more and more upset with how it seemed like his life was being played with. He was tired of being jerked around by his enemies and by the people who were supposed to be his allies. If they really wanted to help him then they should help him, not be obstacles themselves. He was beyond tired of this.

With a blush, Tonks nodded to what he said and replied, “Will do. Look I’m not sure how much can be done with some people but I will do what I can to get this through to them.”

Harry tried to calm himself. He could tell that Tonks was trying and his anger wasn’t really helping anything. This was definitely something he needed to work on. Lately, his emotions controlled him and not the other way around. “Thanks. Look I’m gonna go get cleaned up. I may or may not be leaving later, I’m not sure. If you’re still here I guess that means you’ll be following me. If not then let the others know that I am not playing prison boy any longer. Living here is difficult enough without having to be trapped inside.”

“Sure Harry.”

He headed inside and then immediately upstairs. Thankfully his uncle was off at work so he wouldn’t have to put up with him and his bellowing. His aunt didn’t even glance his way as he walked in so that was a bit of a blessing. While she wasn’t as mean as the other two her words cut the most. Dudley was probably still asleep in all honesty, given that it was summer hols and he tended to stay out late. Given that all he did was sleep and hang out with Piers and his usual gang of losers all hours of the night it really wasn’t a surprise that Dudders was crashed out. This meant that he was able to take his shower in peace, for which he was thankful. The occasional pounding on the door while he tried to clean up was rather disconcerting.

Walking into his room, towel wrapped round his waist, Harry realized something annoying. All his clothes sucked for what he was trying to do. They were all too big for one, excessively worn out, and in the case of what passed for shoes, barely holding together except for the liberal use of tape. How could he be expected to get fit or even more to the point, move right if part of the time he was fighting his clothes? There had been several moments during the last few years where his clothes had become problematic, hampering his ability to dodge. No, this was a thing he needed to fix before things got too much farther. He didn’t want to drag Tonks with him to go shopping, as that would be odd, and the Weasleys were right out because the last thing that would happen would be for Mrs. Weasley to go against Dumbledore, but what about Hermione or Luna? Sure he hadn’t heard from them just like everyone else but if that was Dumbledore’s stupid plan who was he to follow along? He wanted to make his own choices, his own decisions. Merlin, he was going to be 16 this year, so he wasn’t a little kid any longer. He was well aware that he wasn’t a full adult yet but things were just ridiculous. Anyway, just how was he going to get a hold of Hermione or Luna anyway?

As he pulled on the handmedowns, it hit him like a bludger. God he was a total idiot. It was so very obvious and of course had never occurred to him because he thought too much like a wizard. He could call Hermione, like with the telephone. Actual technology was sure to be something that ad slipped past Dumbledore’s plans for keeping him isolated. He knew the city she lived in and her last name, despite not knowing her actual number. Surely directory assistance would be able to help out here, since that was what they did. He headed downstairs, shaking his head at being so, well, dumb. Of course the obvious would be missed. Making the call he waited for the phone to be answered once directory assistance connected him. “Hello Granger residence.”

“Hermione?” asked Harry. The person on the other end sounded a bit tired and wrung out so he wasn’t sure if it was Hermione or not. It could be her mother for all he knew, so he wasn’t going to rule that out either.

“Harry?” The surprise was quite evident.

Apparently it was Hermione who had answered which made him smile. This was going better than he had hoped. “Hey there Mione. How are you?”

“Uhm… fine but I thought… I… how are you?” Hermione sounded a touch confused and hesitant as she spoke, which was an indication that he was clearly doing something unexpected. He liked that. It was rare that he was able to truly surprise her.

“Bored out of my mind honestly. I haven’t gotten to my homework yet but I have some ideas running around my head. I have been reading a few books and they have got me thinking. I know Crawley isn’t too far away from here. Would it be okay if I came by to visit?” He asked.

“Aren’t you supposed to stay somewhere safe?” She sounded conflicted like she wanted to say yes but her responsible part was arguing back.

“For the most part but I’m getting stir crazy here. That’s okay; I have a guard and my invisibility cloak and if worse comes to worse I will fight back. But I will not sit here and be a prisoner any longer.” He said definitively.

“How are you going to get over here? You don’t know how to apparate or make portkeys? Surely you’re not going to fly are you?”

Harry started chuckling. Magic really did infect the way you looked at the world, taking away the obvious answers sometimes. Granted it had been the same sort of mistake he had made earlier so it was fun to see her make the same mistake in thinking. “No, of course not. I’m not that crazy Hermione. I was planning on taking the bus if that was okay with you. Not a lot of purebloods frequent muggle busses so I should be nice and safe.”

“Oh.” He could almost hear the blush and that made him smile. Hermione was so smart that when she overlooked simple things like that it was a rare and wonderful thing. If only he could be there to see the blush in person.

“So is it okay if I came over?” He really hoped she said yes, despite her responsible self telling her not to allow it.

There was a pause before she replied, “Sure.”

“Great.” He really felt excited by that idea. This would be a lot of fun and far better than just hanging around Privet Drive. “See you in a little bit.”

That did leave Harry in a bit of a quandary. Should he get some money from his vault and then go shopping with Hermione or should he just go and talk to her about his plan this trip? Both were tempting and he had no idea how often he could pull this off before Dumbledore intervened. Maybe he should just go over and see how she was doing and talk with her, at least to start. He had no idea how she was health wise and she had been seriously hurt in the battle. Maybe he could arrange a shopping trip later, given how she was feeling? Now if only he could get a hold of Luna, Neville, or the Weasleys without any hassle everything would be excellent.

He grabbed his new books and put them in his empty school bag, as he was sure she would want to see them. Those went in along with his cloak. There were a few other things that might be useful, like the knife that Sirius got him and the communication mirror. He didn’t know if it connected to Remus or not but it was at least a potential communication tool that he had been stupid enough to forget about. He needed to be better, to think tactical and not like a kid. He snorted. Honestly, when had he been a kid? Thanks to the oh so tender mercies of the Dursleys he really hadn’t had a good childhood, being more servant than anything else. That was one of the reasons he really connected with Dobby, that shared history of suffering while he worked. No, he needed to stop trying to live the illusion and just accept the crap that life kept throwing at him. Dumbledore might keep harping about him needing a childhood but he had already been kept from one and there was really little chance that he would get to be a child so long as Voldemort was after him.

He called out to his aunt just before walking outside, he figured that he would be back in time to handle the evening meal and if not what were they going to do to him? Hit him? Yell at him? Honestly he barely cared anymore. They were barely his relatives all things considered. He actually felt closer to Malfoy than he did the Dursleys, despite how horrible that thought was. Tonks would keep up with him or just stand there and watch him disappear for all he cared. Getting out of the house was something he could do to get out and forget about this life he was forced to live. It didn’t take long for the Auror and Order member to make her appearance after he had left the house, “Where to now Harry?”

“Crawley.” He kept walking as he talked, heading towards the bus stop.

“Why there?”

“Hermione.”

“Okay.” He could hear the traces of confusion in her voice as she spoke. “So how are you planning on getting there?”

Harry rolled his eyes. Honestly, what was it with some people? Tonks had a muggleborn father, surely she had a better grasp of things than this. “There is a bus stop ahead and I can transfer to Crawley without too much problem several stops ahead. It is safe and not connected to the magical world so there is nothing for anyone to trace.”

She nodded and grinned at him. “Alright. That works. Shall we?”

“You’re coming with me?” Despite his earlier comments he was still surprised by how ready she was to follow along.

“Well I’m certainly not going to sit here and let Moody show up and chew me out for losing you. I got that enough as an Auror trainee to last a life time.”

“Fair enough.”

Once they caught the bus, the trip wasn’t long and Harry took the time to get to know Tonks better, asking her about her family, what her father did, things like that. Since Sirius had explained a bit about his history and how his grandmother Dorea had been a black, that mean that Tonks was family. It helped pass the time and helped a little with the ache in his heart, because they were related and that meant he still had family in the world. Sure she wasn’t a Potter but they were family nonetheless. They had both lost Sirius thanks to this stupid war and were both grieving, though Tonks not nearly as acute as Harry. However, they were also both happy to see the stop that they needed so they could stop wallowing around in their feelings. That loss was still too fresh.

As the bus pulled away, they both looked around to get a better lay of the land. Tonks smiled at him knowingly, well aware that he had no clue where he was headed. “So Harry, where do we go from here?”

He looked at her in some disbelief and shook his head. As if he had a clue as to where Hermione lived, despite having her street address. He glanced at the stores around the stop and noticed a Chinese place that delivered. Thinking about it a minute he found his answer. With a grin, he walked over there and entered. Not wanting to simply bug them for information, he bought sodas for himself and Tonks before asking for directions. They headed off, drinking from their cans, looking at the set of written directions. Tonks chuckled some and said, “Okay, that was clever.”

“Thanks. I figured if anyone would know directions around Crawley it would be a delivery place,” commented Harry. He was rather proud of having sussed that out.

“I’ll have to remember that if I ever need that sort of information.”

It was a bit of a hike from the bus stop but soon they walked up to a multistory brick house that was at the end of their directions. Harry was impressed. For all that his Uncle Vernon had pride of place, #4 was nothing at all compared to this. This was a rather nice home, with lovely gardens and was certainly not the track housing so common in Little Whinging. No… this was good. Looking at it he really could place Hermione here. It felt like her. “Come on.”

He knocked on the door and waited, grinning to himself and utterly pleased that he had made it to Hermione’s house with no misadventure. It had to be a first in his life. Shortly Hermione opened it and she looked fairly wan and tired. Harry frowned at the sight and began to feel bad. He and his stupidity had done this to her. He had gotten her into this mess and now look at her. How could he have been so dumb?

Hermione smiled at seeing him and said, “Hi Harry. Hi Tonks.”

“Hi Hermione.” Tonks was quite chipper.

Harry’s response was a good bit more subdued. Just looking at her brought his guilt to the fore. It was like having his face rubbed into his mistake painfully. “Hey Hermione.”

Hermione frowned and she narrowed her eyes, “What’s wrong?”

“I just…” He took a deep breath, trying to make himself understood as so much on him just wanted to beg for her forgiveness. “I’m sorry I got you hurt.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed before answering. “Honestly Harry, you are not Dolohov and thus aren’t the one who did this to me, so you have nothing to feel sorry about. Your actions saved us all.”

“But…” Harry was at a complete loss how to respond. She wasn’t even just a little bit upset with him leading them into an ambush?

“Harry James Potter don’t be a prat. Now come inside so I can sit down and we can talk. Clearly you need it.”

Harry meekly followed. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Hermione when she was injured thanks to him being an idiot. When she got like this it was far easier to just do whatever she said. He needed to do better by her. Since she usually was the one to save him because of what she knew. Maybe his ideas would help redeem him and she would feel like he was upholding his part of things.

Once seated, she sighed and then looked over at him. One eyebrow cocked as she noted his squirming and so she asked, “So you said you had some ideas running round your head? What kind of ideas?”

“Yeah. Since I realized that we were very, very lucky at the Ministry and I…” He had to swallow down his nerves. “Well I don’t want to just rely on luck ever again when it comes to you, or Luna, or Ron, or Neville, or Ginny, or… well anyone else really. I keep rushing into things and fighting wildly which has a tendency to get myself and others hurt. I… I can’t afford that anymore. I lost Sirius because I was rash and I almost lost you. I have to be better. So I thought that it might be smart to look at some books about people who really know what they are doing in terms of fighting terrorists and these kinds of battles.”

Tonks was giving him an appraising look while Hermione’s was far more pointed, as if she were following his logic and trying to jump ahead. “Go on.”

“Well… as you know, the SAS and the US Special Forces are both trained to fight this kind of fight, what with the Troubles and such. I mean, from what I read, these guys have a far more appropriate approach the this than police officers so I was thinking, maybe some of their ideas and tactics would work for us?” He looked at her as he shrugged, spreading his hands wide.

Whatever Tonks had expected Harry to say, this was certainly not it given her surprised look. However, Hermione was following along, nodding slowly. “So what you are saying is that we pull out what we can from their doctrine and see how it can apply to magical warfare, especially since their tactics and doctrine are a lot more advanced and developed than what seems to be the norm for the wizarding world. I mean, everything we’ve seen and experienced reminds me more of Napoleonic battles, where it dissolves into a melee at the end, rather than the more tactically driven modern battlefield.”

Harry nodded. He wouldn’t have put it exactly that way but yes. Did Hermione just know a little about everything? “So this all makes sense?”

Hermione’s grin lightened his heart. Maybe this was helping his position out. “Absolutely Harry. That idea is absolutely brilliant and is a great way to cross something over from one world to the other. If we can make this work it will certainly not be something they will be expecting. I assume you are also thinking about the physical training aspect of it?”

“Oh yeah, we got too winded as the fight went along and that’s dangerous. I’ve already started running.” Harry felt buoyed by the fact that she was helping him run with this idea. “I brought along some of the books I have on this if you wanted to take a look.”

Hermione took the books and flipped through them, her eyes scanning the pages quickly. “This really is brilliant Harry, it really is. With these we can shake up the DA and give ourselves a better chance to succeed. Oh… Tonks, is there any way you can get Harry some books on how Auror’s fight, their tactics and such? That would let him make comparisons and get a better appraisal of things. Without that knowledge we won’t be able to make the most of this.”

Tonks nodded slowly, clearly thinking through the proposal as well and trying to see if she would get in trouble for sharing information. “I can do that. I can pick up some of the training texts right after the will reading.”

“Wait… what will reading?” asked Harry, a bit lost after this change in topics.

Hermione and Tonks both stared at him a bit incredulously. They shared a look and then Hermione said gently, “The reading of Sirius’s will.”

He blinked a few times, his heart aching at this further acknowledgement of his loss. “Wait, what? When is that supposed to happen?”

“Tomorrow. Surely you got your Gringots letter about it?” Hermione cast her eyes over to Tonks, to see if the Auror could provide any additional information.

Shaking his head, Harry’s thoughts raced, trying to figure out why that could be the case, why he might not be aware of something the others were. Could this be more of Dumbledore’s protections? Frowning, he called out, “Dobby!”

There was a loud pop and the nervous house elf was standing there in front of him, wringing his hands, “What can Dobby do for Harry Potter?”

He picked up a notebook from the coffee table and scrawled out a quick note. He needed information and maybe a way to fix things. “Could you please take this to Gringotts and give it to the goblin in charge of the Black account for me please?”

Dobby nodded excitedly, took the note, and vanished. Harry looked at the other two intently and asked, “Now exactly when is this taking place?”